Beep, beep. Taxi

Touts & Hasslers We Love to Hate: The Taxi Driver

First impressions count. Leaving the airport, travellers normally travel through the ugliest urban landscape a country can offer and the first person we meet is the taxi driver.

Where found
Either circling like vultures around the streets or hanging around in packs outside cheaper transport hubs. Like rats you are unlikely to be further than ten metres away from a taxi driver. Not that we are implying taxi drivers are like rats. Really, we’re not.

Modus Operandi
Beep, lie, drive, lie again, overcharge, repeat.

Why we hate them
Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi? Beep beep. Taxi?

Are they really so bad?
There are, of course, plenty of good ones. I’ll always think kindly of Paraguay because of a cab driver. At times they do come in handy taking us from A to B in (usually) the shortest possible time and in the most convenient way.

Even so: the only good taxi driver is a dead taxi driver.*

How to Get Rid
Say ‘no’ or ignore them and sometimes they will go away to find another victim. But like (more expensive) buses another will be along in a moment.

Nuisance rating
1 out of 5 (when they are wanted). 3 out of 5 (when they are not).

* I’m kidding (a severe beating would be enough**)
** I’m kidding (one punch, but not in the face, will do***)
*** I’m kidding (I’d settle for sustained verbal abuse****)
**** I’m kidding (I can have no complaints if I’m reincarnated as an African American man in the 1970s New York)

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